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Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005
10:48 pm - Right, Left, Right

Wow I wish I had pictures to post. I don't though. =(

Last night was awesome. Becky, Jeanne and Amanda came over. Mindy was supposed to be here too but she didn't answer her cell when I called. It's all good.

Tuesday Amanda came over and we baked cupcakes and brownies! We are so proud of ourselves, cuz the cupscakes came out sooo good! After we were done with them I took her home cuz I had to go pick my mom up from work and then we went to Old Navy and I got 2 new pairs of flip flops (that makes 15 pairs of flip flops that I own, Jeanne!) so I can have a color that matches my new bathing suite that I'm taking to Florida this Sunday. Yay. I can't wait. It's spring and it's still snowing in Buffalo. I hate snow. I hate walking in it, I hate driving in it, and I hate the coldness. It sucks.

So yeah, around 7 all the girls came over my house and at first we planned on having a bon fire. But of course, it's still a little cold. But it was ok. I called for a pizza and Jeanne and I went to pick it up. So we had pizza and wing and a bunch of other junk food. So after we ate Becky wanted to put a song on her MP3 player so I did that for her and she was talking to her friend Steve on my screen name. Scott came online but I only talked to him for like 2 minutes. Plus we wanted to go watch the movie "Saw". I liked it, but I didn't think it was that scary. I spent the whole time trying to figure out who the killer was! I didn't guess right, though. Oh well.

So after we watched "Saw" Becky came into my room and talked to Steve more while Jeanne, Amanda and I put "The Incredibles" in, but decided to play Uno. Jeanne won the first round so we were going into the second round and Becky came in the play Uno with us and she and Amanda started to giggle and laugh at nothing at all and weren't paying attention to the game so Jeanne and I out our cards down without them noticing and Becky kept asking "Is it my turn?" and we were like "Not yet!" it was a pretty awesome night. We didn't go to bed until after 2 am.

At 9 a.m. there were these guys that came to my house this morning to clean the air ducts because my mom was complaining that she had to dust everyday. So we got that fixed. While the guys were doing that we played Uno again. lol. I think Becky is addicted to it now. Then we watched "The Notebook" because Becky hadn't seen it yet. I fell asleep again after wards. I think Becky is the only one who didn't go back to sleep.

Scott came home today. We're getting new rugs tomorrow so Scott came over to help clean out the room a little. He took me out to eat after wards and then we hung out at his house until I left to go tanning. Now I'm here, contemplating on shooting my computer because it's a pain-in-the-ass-piece-of-shit-that-doesn't-work-properly-anymore. Argh it really pissed the shit outta me, so i'm gonna go before I throw it out the windown to freeze to death in the snow!


current mood: pissed off

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Sunday, March 20th, 2005
1:16 pm
I greatly appologize.
Due to the pain and agony that my computer is putting me through, I am not able to read or update my , or anyone else's journal.

I want to shoot whoever thought of the idea of making pop ups.

Godspell was great last night. I wish I could tell you more about it but my computer is pushing me to the point where I want to shoot myself in the head. Not litterally.

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Friday, March 18th, 2005




current mood: excited

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Wednesday, March 9th, 2005
4:21 pm - Tell Me Why You're Lookin So Confused When I'm The One Who Didn't Know The Truth
I'm back. I hope I didn't miss much.
I have been sick and busy with a lot of things. Sorry I haven't been here in a few days.
Life is hectic, as always.

Actually there's not much to talk about. Well, there is, but certain people read my journal and I'd prefer that they didn't read about my life. Since I mean nothing anymore anyway. Yeah, so whatever.

Which reminds me, I've been thinking about making my journal friends only. I'm going to make every entry I've written in the past year and make them friends only. I just have to figure out how to do all of them at once first. I didn't understand why people make their journals "Friends only" until now. Oh well. Life sucks. I'm over it.

On a lighter note....well, there isn't one. Not until next week. Yay.

current mood: annoyed

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Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005
6:13 pm - I Love Animals
Oh I remember what I wanted to talk about:
I got an e-mail today about Chinese farmers swinging racoons and foxes around by their hind legs and smashing their heads on the ground so they can skin them for their fur.


OK, anyone who finds this amusing disgusts me. I don't understand how someone could actually hurt a living thing like this. I also can't believe that people actually want to wear rabbit, fox, racoon, mink etc fur. I think it is so disrespectful. The way people skin animals alive just so they could wear their fur as fashion is so heart wrenching to me. I mean, I'm sure the customer doesn't know (or care) about the pain that these animals go through - being completely conscience while their skin in being torn off. I mean, would you like someone to skin you while you're alive? I didn't think so. I can't even imagine the pain they go through...

There's a website www.FurIsDead.com that tells about what goes on. There's actual footage of these Chinese farmers throwing these animals around like they are not really living. I couldn't even watch 5 seconds of the footage without covering my eyes and quickly closing the window. If anyone really wants to see the footage because you don't believe me, or you're just curious to see it, let me know, I can e-mail it to you because I'm not sure what the web address is to it. So just leave me your e-mail if you'd like to see it.

I <3 Animals

current mood: pissed off

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Tuesday, March 1st, 2005
9:01 pm - Happy Birthday, Scott!

Happy 18th Bithday, Scott!

Happy Birthday hun!

I love you!

current mood: loved

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Saturday, February 26th, 2005
10:00 am - Broken Up Deep Inside

(Girl and guy going over 100 mph on a motorcycle)

Girl: Slow down. Im scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? its bugging me.

(In the paper the next day):
A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure. 2 people were on it, but only 1 survived.

*The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

I posted this one ^ before, but I love it.

"None will ever be a true Parisian who has not learned to wear a mask of gaiety over his sorrows and one of sadness, boredom or indifference over his inward joy. You know that one of your friends is in trouble; do not try to console him: he will tell you that he is already comforted; but, should he have met with good fortune, be careful how you congratulate him: he thinks it so natural that he is surprised that you should speak of it. In Paris, our lives are one masked ball..." ~The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux

current mood: Emo

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Monday, January 10th, 2005
10:43 pm - poem

Tell her you think shes cool.
Tell her why you think shes so cool.
Smell her hair.
Talk to her in movie theatres.
Pick her up and pretend youre going to throw her in the river;
shell scream and fight you but secretly, she`ll love it.
Hold her hand
and skip.
Hold her hand and run.
Just hold her hand.
Pick flowers
from other peoples
gardens and give
them to her.
Tell her she's pretty.
Let her pay if she wants to.
Introduce her to your friends
as The coolest girl you know.
Sit in the park and talk to her.
Take her to the library
Tell her dirty jokes.
Tell her stupid jokes.
Write poems about her.
Just walk with her.
Throw pebbles at her window
When she starts swearing at you,
... tell her you love her.
Take her to shows of
bands shes never
heard of.
Hold her hand in the mosh pit.
Let her fall asleep in your arms.
Call her.
Call her back if she calls you.
Sing to her,
no matter how
bad you are.
Carve your names into a tree.
Get her mad, then kiss her.
Give her piggy-back rides.
Go see her band play even
if they really suck,
and tell her they were great.
Give her space if she needs it.
Push her on swings.
Stay up with her all night when shes sick.
Make up pet names for her,
but cool ones, not sappy ones.
Teach her guitar.
Lend her your cds.
Write on her.
Make her mixtapes.
Write her letters.
Take her to cool shops,
and let her take you to even cooler ones.
Just hang out
with her.
Listen to all the
bands she mentions.
Dont tell her that her favorite bands suck.
When shes sad,
hang out with her
stay on the
phone with her,
even if shes not saying anything.
Buy her ice cream.
Let her take all the photos of you she wants.
Look into her eyes.
Slow dance with her,
even if the music is fast.
Kiss her in the rain...
. . . and

stolen from rustedxemotions


I FORGOT to tell all of you the good news!
The guinea pig that Scott bought me for Christmas is pregnant. Well, we're almost positive she's pregnant. I got her only a week ago and she was so small I could hold her in the palm of my hand. She's 19 weeks old now and Scott and I researched it and from the pictures and symptoms that the internet shows looks and is exactly like my piggie. I named her Baby. Who knew when we got her that she was going to have babies?! lol I'm excited for her and I'm excited to have little piggies running around! I think she's gonna have 2 of them, but who knows. There can be up to 6!  Also, she was the only female in the cage with 2 males in it. My mom said they don't know how to keep their pickles in the jar. LOL!

Anyway, I have pics of my guinea pig, yet I still don't know how to get them on my computer from my memory card (call me stupid!) I gotta go be with my piggie. Night all!

current mood: excited

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Sunday, December 12th, 2004
8:30 pm - Winter Dance 2004 "Under The Stars"

The Winter Dance was last night. I had sooo much fun. Scott looked sooo nice and all the girls were so pretty!! Rob, Jeff and Ryan all looked very nice too. We took so many pictures and I can't wait to post some pictures. Mine are developed and the ones my Aunt took are too, but I don't have them yet, I've only seen them. She's going to give me a CD slide show and duplicates tomorrow. I can't wait for all of you to see them!!!
I can't believe it's over. It's like it happened way too fast. After the dance we got in the limo and went to Scott's house to change off. Then we were off to Zebbs and ate and just all talked about stuff and looked at some pictures on Britt's digital camera. We left at 1 a.m. so everyone could be dropped off by the limo. We had a really nice limo driver. His name was Larry Jr. and he said it was a pleasure taking us everywhere and he would like to take us in "future events" it was cool. Scott bought him a gift certificate for two to Zebbs and that came with two movie tickets. Larry was really surprised about that. I think it caught him off gaurd, but it was a really nice thing that Scott did for him. =) <3

So when all of the pictures are done I think we're going to pick out one of all of us that were in the limo and send Larry a card thanking him. Hopefully if we go again next year (which we probably will) we'll have him again.

I had so much fun!!! I had the best night with all of my friends, but most of all with my Scott <3<3<3<3<3<3
I love you hunnie!

current mood: tired

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Saturday, December 11th, 2004
8:41 am - Thought Someone Might Need This-

"Go for the guy that makes you feel like you are more
important to him than the air in his lungs and the stars
in his sky. The guy who makes you feel on top of the
world is the one who will keep you there..."

I know what you're going through. And it sucks, I know. I've been there. We all have. It just hurts me to see you go through it. And it hurts even more that you know it's going to happen. I feel so bad, yet I feel so helpless. I'm not sure what to say anymore. And I felt so bad when I hung up the phone with you when you called. I know you're trying to be strong, but deep inside you're really breaking down. It's a hard thing to go through and a lesson to be learned, I guess. But as we always said to eachother, "Maybe God wants us to meet some wrong people before we meet the right one." I know you still know that. Maybe it's true. It must be true. I hate to see you sad. It breaks my heart because you're my best friend, you're beautiful in so many ways, you're such a good person, you don't deserve this at all. But no one knows why this happens. It just does. Or maybe it's just how boys minds are.
I hope you feel better. I've been there for you before, and I'll be there for you now. You will find someone worthy of you someday, and I know I keep telling you this, but I really believe it. It's ok to cry, just remember that. And it's ok to call me at 1 am if something's bothering you. You know I'd be there to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, a true friend that loves you for you are inside and out.
Even though this will probably bother you all day today and all night, I want you to have the best time ever at the dance tonight. You're going to look beautiful and you'll be with all of your friends. Just take your mind off it for a while and remember to have fun.


I hope I get my scanner fixed soon so I can post pics from the Dance tonight!


current mood: calm

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Thursday, November 25th, 2004
10:09 pm - Happy Birthday Amanda!
Happy 17th Birthday Amanda Lynn Brown!
Have a great birthday! Don't eat too much turkey!
We love you!

current mood: cheerful

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12:39 pm - Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

We have a white Thanksgiving.

current mood: frustrated

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Monday, November 22nd, 2004
10:07 pm - My everything
I'm doing better tonight. Have to stay after school with Scott tomorrow so we can get our tickets to the dance. My mom called for the limo today. So it's officially reserved. I hope Amanda remembers to talk to Joe soon...
Only 2 more days of school this week. Yay! =) Then it will be Turkey Day.

I was talking to Nett today after English and she's applying to go to Germany for 10 months after she comes home from Japan.I can't believe she's really going to Japan for 10 months. Wow. I'm so proud of her!

I leave a month from tomorrow for Europe. It's weird to think about it. I'm excited, but I'll probably (ok, I know I will) cry a lot since I'll be gone from everyone. It'll be really different. It's just one Christmas though...right? Anyways...I've already begged Scott to come with me but he doesn't want to. That's ok. I understand cuz he shouldn't be away from his family for the holidays either. I'm sure my vacation will go by fast too. I'm kinda sad that I'll be gone the whole intire Winter Break though. I'll have no time to really relax. I duno. Makes me a little sad that I wont be home at all for Winter Break, I guess.

Anyway, I'm out.

current mood: tired

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Sunday, November 21st, 2004
9:04 pm - I just want to be 5 again

Peanut14120: i miss being a kid
Auto response from Beanne88: Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and their stupid lies
Well deep inside you're bleeding

Peanut14120: i wish i was a kid still so I didn't have to deal with things
Beanne88 returned at 8:38:28 PM.
Beanne88: What's bothering you?
Peanut14120: things like school and grades and growing up
Beanne88: Oh yeah, I know what you mean
Peanut14120: dealing with the world not being perfect, like you imagine it to be when you're little
Peanut14120: ....boys.....drama.....i hate growing up
Beanne88: Yeah I wish everything was easy...you didn't have to work you butt off for grades or money....no broken hearts I know exactly what you mean
Peanut14120: i wish i only had to cry because I scraped my knee
Beanne88: Lol yeah and then mom can put a bandaid on and everything would be fine agin
Peanut14120: yeah
Peanut14120: i miss that
Peanut14120: why did we grow up so fast?
Beanne88: I dunno...everything hits us so fast we kind of have to
Peanut14120: it sucks
Beanne88: Yes it does
Peanut14120: it seems like right after 6th grade ended we all grew up
Beanne88: Yeah life got so serious then, we started dating, caring more about our grades...now we're thinking about college....wow
Peanut14120: I hate being an "adult"
Beanne88: Me too
Peanut14120: I'd give anything to go back to being 5 again - hanging out with all the kids on the block. Nick, Shania, Michelle, Billy, Tim, Lynn, you....Playing basketball and staying out until 9 with Nick. Remember, we thought is was so late out? And having Ice Contests, water fights, slumber parties and barbie birthday parties...
Peanut14120: i miss those days
Peanut14120: don't you?

I hate being 16.


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8:47 pm - Quote
This story's old but it goes on and on until we disappear.

Calm me and let me taste the salt that you breathed while you were underneath.

I am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea.

I spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean.

I know that this is what you want.

A funeral keeps both of us apart.

You know that you are not alone.

Need you like water in my lungs.

this is the end.

current mood: sad

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Friday, November 19th, 2004
6:43 pm - blah blah blah
My overall average is a 85.5

I'm not happy about it at all.

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5:33 pm - O, Canada!
I love going to Canada. Tonight Jeanne, Scott, Ryan and I are going to Clifton Hill and we're going to Nightmares, I guess. I'm gonna get another picture cuz Jeanne will be with us this time! Yay!

Anyway, I'm so glad that this whole thing for the limo is almost all taken care of for the winter dance. It's caused so much confusion...But everyone's going, hopefully, and I guess there's going to be a meeting of some sort at my house tomorrow at noon. So if you read this and you're going in the limo with us to the Dance, if your parents want, all the parents can meet at my house tomorrow so my mom and Scott's mom and talk to them and tell them what's going on and the cost and stuff.

I think my mom is talking to Milagro's mom right now. Awesome.

I went tanning again tonight. I love doing it! I bought these cute little eyeprotectors that make me look like a bug, but hey, I don't care cuz I don't want to be loosing my eyesight over this whole thing!

Anyway, I'm gonna go. Ciao!

current mood: excited

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Thursday, November 18th, 2004
9:11 pm - crazyness
Today was really funny, actually. Lunch was great, it was just me, Karli, Amanda and Katherine, but we had so many laughs. It was awesome. "We need to stop picking on Amanda, it's getting too expensive!"
lol that was great!
Anyways, besides lunch, Bella was cool too, with Karli, Amanda, Jeanne and Milagro. Man...Still picked on Amanda. No, Milagro and I are NOT Pregnant (Amanda asked us when our babies were due!) 0.o! LOL

ANYWAY! After school I walked home fast with Scott, Jeff and Mike because I was about to die of lack of sleep. Yep.

My mom had a funeral to go to tonight, so I got the car. I finished my homework before I went to Scott's for a while. Ryan stopped by because he was going to Jeanne's house and needed to pick up some of his things that he left at Scott's. Then he went to Jeanne's for like 5 minutes. He said it looked like no one was home and he rang the door bell a couple times. I made him call Jeanne's house and cell just to make sure. He did, and left Jeanne I voice mail.
I thought Jeanne already went to bed, cuz she was saying to me today how tired she was. I don't blame her. At all. Track is tiring.

I'm so sick of hearing about the limo for the winter dance. We're working on it, I promise.

I'm gonna write a letter for everyone explaining the limo situation. So I don't have to keep repeating myself. I'd write e-mails, but I don't have everyone's e-mail address (Rob's, Joe's, Greg's...) I'll just write every detail and keep informing everyone.

I can't wait for this to all be set.


current mood: annoyed

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Tuesday, November 16th, 2004
9:14 pm - Life's Lessons Learned
Life's has tons of lessons. Even if you don't know what they mean.
I learned that if you have a fight with someone (your boyfriend/girlfriend, mom, dad, friend) even if it's not your fault, you should always apologize. Of course, they should apologize too, but some people are way to thick-headed to knwo that. Life's too short to stay mad at someone. I try to remind myself that whenever I get pissed off at someone, or something... I've come to the point where I can forgive, but I'll never forget.
Unless you brainwash me.
Which I'm not sure anyone knows how to do.
But whatever.

Wish me luck on my US History test!

current mood: okay

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Sunday, November 14th, 2004
4:34 pm - How It Feels To Be Alone And Not Believe
I'm so happy my computer is working again!
Last week was pretty boring. All I really did was go to school and come home. I started some Christmas shopping with my mom. Saturday night I saw The Polar Express with my mom. I liked it a lot! Today I woke up with a headache and got sick a few times. I eventually fell back to sleep and then when I woke up I felt a lot better and I did my homework. I had a lot of that to do this weekend. I have a US history project due next Friday that I'll work on tomorrow. French flashcards are Due Wednesday, but I already have half of those done already. They're such a pain in the ass to write out though!

Anyway, I'm gonna go check everyone else's journal and leave some comments.

current mood: calm

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